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4Sep/1327

风筝

风筝

很多事,做过之后才知道后悔。只是世上不会有后悔药,历史也没有假设。

我只是自私的希望,这篇博客多少能弥补些什么吧。

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自从自己搬到五角场这边,晚上下班的时候,就经常能看到天上各式各样的风筝,它们都带着彩灯,在黑色的天空中异常的扎眼。

虽然不是杨柳发芽,山桃吐蕾的春二月,可秋高气爽,也不为是一个放风筝的好时节。

虽然不知道到放的人在哪里,也不知道放的人又是谁,只是经常迷路的我知道,风筝飘着的那边,是回家的方向。

小的时候,自己也和老爸放过,风筝大都是从小摊位那里买来的,自己不太会放,要么就是飞不起来,要么就是经常落在树杈上,费了很大力气才拿回来。

再大一点,就没放过了,没那时间,也没那精力了。

之所以今天会以《风筝》为题去写这篇博客,是因为看到新闻上说把鲁迅先生的文章《风筝》被移除新版小学教材,原因是SB专家说太难读懂。据说以前这篇文章是要背诵的,结果自己都不记得小时候有读过,所以索性就找来读了下。

自己没出息,读着读着竟然差点哭了。想到那被折断的风筝,真的很伤心,仿佛亲眼看到“绝望地站在小屋里”的小兄弟了。

另外除了伤心,可能更多的是后悔吧。

无论是很很以前的小时候,还是生病之后,自己也未尝不是做过好多伤到别人心的事。自己其实最怕的就是见到女生哭了,因为自己会不知所措。可偏偏这一次是自己弄哭的。结果在之后就立刻就后悔了。

真的很想去道歉,想带她一起去看电影,一起在楼顶望星星。只是就算这样做了就能补过各自心中的痛苦么。我很想说,“如果一切重来的话,我会……”,可是自己也很清楚,老天不会给我第二次机会。

后来还是鼓起勇气去说了,不记得是在电话里,还是当着面,我道了歉。她笑了笑说没事,仿佛一切都没发生过。不知道她后来是否真的忘记了,只是留在我心中一个一直解不去的结。

我越是努力去忘记,却越是记得深刻。之前的博客中,有写到自己是如何对不住父母的,这一篇又说到自己是如何伤到了一个女孩子心的。为什么自己就一直这么不懂事呢。

自己也想着,就像鲁迅先生写的那样:“去讨他的宽恕,等他说,我可是毫不怪你呵。”。其实这样是不是很自私呢,因为不过是在给自己内心寻找一个安慰罢了。

虽然你可能已经忘记了,虽然一切也不可能重来了,可我真的还是想说声对不起。(上班时间,就不写太多了)。

二零一三年九月四日。

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